She sat across from me with tears in her eyes, and a half smile on her face. She said, “Maybe.” I waited. Silence. I asked, “Maybe what?” She said… “Maybe, this is the end.”
Since you stated the truth and spoke it the word “maybe” shouldn’t be in your vocabulary regarding this anymore. You know what to do and you have the strength because you have overcome so much in your life. I’m not saying it will be easy, it won’t. But the world needs the best version of Tesstamona. In fact it’s required of you as it is all of us. I went through some trauma and heartache in 21-22 which led to my alcoholism so believe me I understand what a ripped heart can do and it made me a dark man. But because of this I rooted out the shadow. You’re right the trauma can bring us strength and resilience. I know this is long but I have to end with this. Tonight I went to a place I don’t really like going to but sometimes I have to. I won’t explain why but just know that I have to. Unfortunately going to this place can trigger me but I’ve used it as a training ground for my shadow work. As I sat in my car I realized that I was calm and peaceful without any work involved whatsoever. Then one of the most important thoughts of my life came into my head. “If you were still in this life, you would not be who you are now and would not be setting course on your mission, you would still be mediocre and would you really be happy?”Healed. It is finished. And then I read these words in your post. As they burn away may we be greatful for their ashes. Your best version is waiting for you Tesstamona to embrace you. Don’t keep her waiting on maybe. ❤️
She isnt. I simply used it as a way to take people back to the experience of when I heard the world "maybe" spoken to me. Wasn't meant to be taken quite as literally. It was an incredibly powerful thing to hear, because when you're on the firing lines this long, at best it is ALWAYS a maybe, from the viewpoint of the observer/third party. The only person who changes that, in this case, is me, or in any case, is the individual. Thank you for sharing your experience, it is always appreciated.
Is it weird that that statement itself scared me? Like that's totally a thing I knew to be true as soon as I read it, and a thing I in fact should do, and I find that scary. Perhaps many of us, myself included, don't fully realize just how valuable we are. Like I know it's more than I give myself credit for, for sure. And I suspect the same is true for most people. Maybe we know deep down that if we fully realize our worth, we'll have a helluva lot of changes to make. Maybe we're just scared of our own power.
Ok im reading this at work and I'm holding back tears. YES. this is so fkng on point. that is exactly what is going on. What a strange phenomenon, to be afraid of ourselves, our own power, our own success. I think if you had that reaction to reading those words... that teaching is calling to you. Or rather, that invitation. I can plain as day see that you have something very unique just from a very tiny window into your world from articles passed. Please keep me updated on your journey.. and I will do the same. Sounds like we are in a similar place.
I think we are in a similar place, although from very different paths. You're probably right, it IS a calling or invitation. I've spent my life fitting other people's molds, very much a people-pleaser, certain I could never actually be who I wanted to be, which deep down is probably who I really am. I have found it useful to ask myself questions about why I feel or do certain things, and I almost always get a clear answer back immediately. Time to get myself some more answers and do something with them. I sooo appreciate all your posts, and also you reading mine. Your encouragement has been super helpful and I'm happy we're both experiencing these shifts at the same time, and along with so many others. There is strength in numbers, for sure! Keep at all your different arts, and I'll do the same. Dark as it is, this world is getting more beautiful all the time.
That is an agreement right there!!! we will keep at our arts, undoubtedly. And I agree.. certain parts of this life shine much brighter and much louder when everything else starts to go a bit mad max on us 😆 i appreciate your encouragement and experience so much.
God bless you! May you find the peace and good friends you need. I think many of us don’t know how truly valuable we are. I know it’s more than I give myself credit for. We are scared of our own power and living our lives to the fullest
God bless you too my friend. And I agree with you so much... we are in the same boat, probably why we've always resonated with each other. Time to face the ultimate fear 👀
Beautiful, honey :) I love it. "Raise Your Weapon.
The weapon is not what we imagine it to be.
It is us. It is we.
It is whatever someone or something tried to take, it is whatever our spirit longs to share but we silence, it is whatever we try to hide… " I love that part. Thanks.
Yes, those words weren't used directly but that is 100% what all of what I was describing stems from, in short. self sabotage rooted in several forms. Thank you for reading I appreciate the content you put out as well.
Yo.... that brought back heavy memories for me. Very familiar with candyflipping. So I don't have those stories posted on Substack... some of them would get people in a lot of fucking trouble lol, but as far as shooting you back a post of mine, I would send you one I wrote back in April, when I was just kinda starting this thing. The reason I thought of it is because of what you wrote in an article I believe last night:
You mentioned basic societal fuckery, and you made a comment about the TRAD movement. I had some lightbulb moment a number of months back and wound up writing this, so I think you may resonate with this perhaps. If not, I have an article from a few weeks ago called TACTICAL RESPONSE, if you're into preparedness and guns and really good tactical training, I'd default there! Thank you for sharing that story, I read part one and part two lol.
Damn. Those powerful words motivated me to speak the words of my worth right into the mirror.
Holy shit. Not only thank you for doing that but thank you for sharing that with me.
Since you stated the truth and spoke it the word “maybe” shouldn’t be in your vocabulary regarding this anymore. You know what to do and you have the strength because you have overcome so much in your life. I’m not saying it will be easy, it won’t. But the world needs the best version of Tesstamona. In fact it’s required of you as it is all of us. I went through some trauma and heartache in 21-22 which led to my alcoholism so believe me I understand what a ripped heart can do and it made me a dark man. But because of this I rooted out the shadow. You’re right the trauma can bring us strength and resilience. I know this is long but I have to end with this. Tonight I went to a place I don’t really like going to but sometimes I have to. I won’t explain why but just know that I have to. Unfortunately going to this place can trigger me but I’ve used it as a training ground for my shadow work. As I sat in my car I realized that I was calm and peaceful without any work involved whatsoever. Then one of the most important thoughts of my life came into my head. “If you were still in this life, you would not be who you are now and would not be setting course on your mission, you would still be mediocre and would you really be happy?”Healed. It is finished. And then I read these words in your post. As they burn away may we be greatful for their ashes. Your best version is waiting for you Tesstamona to embrace you. Don’t keep her waiting on maybe. ❤️
She isnt. I simply used it as a way to take people back to the experience of when I heard the world "maybe" spoken to me. Wasn't meant to be taken quite as literally. It was an incredibly powerful thing to hear, because when you're on the firing lines this long, at best it is ALWAYS a maybe, from the viewpoint of the observer/third party. The only person who changes that, in this case, is me, or in any case, is the individual. Thank you for sharing your experience, it is always appreciated.
Beautifully created... achingly real.
I am blessed that you found my words, that I could find yours. Thank you 😌
Thank you so much. I am equally grateful!
Beautiful work, as always. 💖
“State your worth, and so it shall be.”
Is it weird that that statement itself scared me? Like that's totally a thing I knew to be true as soon as I read it, and a thing I in fact should do, and I find that scary. Perhaps many of us, myself included, don't fully realize just how valuable we are. Like I know it's more than I give myself credit for, for sure. And I suspect the same is true for most people. Maybe we know deep down that if we fully realize our worth, we'll have a helluva lot of changes to make. Maybe we're just scared of our own power.
Ok im reading this at work and I'm holding back tears. YES. this is so fkng on point. that is exactly what is going on. What a strange phenomenon, to be afraid of ourselves, our own power, our own success. I think if you had that reaction to reading those words... that teaching is calling to you. Or rather, that invitation. I can plain as day see that you have something very unique just from a very tiny window into your world from articles passed. Please keep me updated on your journey.. and I will do the same. Sounds like we are in a similar place.
I think we are in a similar place, although from very different paths. You're probably right, it IS a calling or invitation. I've spent my life fitting other people's molds, very much a people-pleaser, certain I could never actually be who I wanted to be, which deep down is probably who I really am. I have found it useful to ask myself questions about why I feel or do certain things, and I almost always get a clear answer back immediately. Time to get myself some more answers and do something with them. I sooo appreciate all your posts, and also you reading mine. Your encouragement has been super helpful and I'm happy we're both experiencing these shifts at the same time, and along with so many others. There is strength in numbers, for sure! Keep at all your different arts, and I'll do the same. Dark as it is, this world is getting more beautiful all the time.
That is an agreement right there!!! we will keep at our arts, undoubtedly. And I agree.. certain parts of this life shine much brighter and much louder when everything else starts to go a bit mad max on us 😆 i appreciate your encouragement and experience so much.
❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏
❤️ 🏴☠️ 🌟
God bless you Tess. May you find the peace you seek and the friends you need. Amen.
God bless you too. And thank you. 🙏 🌟 🙏
God bless you! May you find the peace and good friends you need. I think many of us don’t know how truly valuable we are. I know it’s more than I give myself credit for. We are scared of our own power and living our lives to the fullest
God bless you too my friend. And I agree with you so much... we are in the same boat, probably why we've always resonated with each other. Time to face the ultimate fear 👀
Beautiful, honey :) I love it. "Raise Your Weapon.
The weapon is not what we imagine it to be.
It is us. It is we.
It is whatever someone or something tried to take, it is whatever our spirit longs to share but we silence, it is whatever we try to hide… " I love that part. Thanks.
Thank you for reading, I rly appreciate you and your feedback.
We are who and what we choose to be.
We are the prize.
The prize is worth it's price.
A beautiful piece Tess. I absolutely agree "We get honest," we "take steps toward healing. " Blessed be... ❤️
Thank you as well, for taking the time to read and respond. 🙏🙏❤️❤️🙏🙏
Thank you for taking the time to read it, it means a lot. And thank you for your comment 🙏 ♥️
Yes, those words weren't used directly but that is 100% what all of what I was describing stems from, in short. self sabotage rooted in several forms. Thank you for reading I appreciate the content you put out as well.
Yo.... that brought back heavy memories for me. Very familiar with candyflipping. So I don't have those stories posted on Substack... some of them would get people in a lot of fucking trouble lol, but as far as shooting you back a post of mine, I would send you one I wrote back in April, when I was just kinda starting this thing. The reason I thought of it is because of what you wrote in an article I believe last night:
You mentioned basic societal fuckery, and you made a comment about the TRAD movement. I had some lightbulb moment a number of months back and wound up writing this, so I think you may resonate with this perhaps. If not, I have an article from a few weeks ago called TACTICAL RESPONSE, if you're into preparedness and guns and really good tactical training, I'd default there! Thank you for sharing that story, I read part one and part two lol.
Here's this: https://mementomorialchemy.substack.com/p/the-actual-meaning-of-life