The following was written February 7th, 2024, a few days after my cousin lost his life. I have little to no memory of writing this. Upon revisiting, I don’t recognize it as my own.
I remembered this poem or song, whatever it is what I wrote, while on the phone with a friend talking about grief today. I only remembered the title. I searched the notes in my phone, found it, and am sharing it as is.
I’ll make a comment about the time it was written in first though:
My cousin’s passing set off a field of landmines of unprocessed grief within me, I think we’re above the number 30 regarding people we’ve loved and lost to certain battles within a very short timeframe.
Often I feel numb, but when that happened, the floodgates opened. I tried to keep it hidden from others because they too had lost someone, someone they grew up with. Someone they would have died for.
Not only that, but a lot of him, my cousin, how he lived, and how he passed, was like looking into a mirror.
You never know how you will respond when someone dies. I wasn’t close to my cousin in this life, not in the physical sense, we grew up on opposite sides of the country. I met him when I was 10. It’s one of my only childhood memories. Then I would see him again a few times when I moved to Florida, but only a few times before he passed.
But you recognize your own when you see them — not because they are blood, but because you have lived, fought and experienced the same things, and you can see this in others, ones who have walked the same roads and have tendencies of your own.
So it really doesn’t matter, the whole distance thing. It still felt like looking into a mirror, both in his life, and in his death.
Before we get into the poem, this is something I wrote and shared about him around that time. I want to share it again. He made music in his time here on earth, and I want that to continue to be shared:
Alright, like I said I am not editing this and sharing as is. Not quite sure what it is or what was happening when I wrote it. Does not feel comfortable sharing it - but it wouldn’t have come to mind if I wasn’t supposed to. So, here you go:
Grieve, My Love
Grieve, My Love it is your Souls dignity in honoring your heart, do not be afraid to lean into Death Grieve, My Love, because grief, is love so grieve, my love, because grief, is love it is one of the highest expressions of and a new dimension.. don't be afraid you will swim back up... know that you are not, not alone in this world sometimes your guardians cannot be seen with your eyes but they are there we are all connected in the quantum cosmic ocean and sometimes it is poisoned and sometimes it is poisoned but there is One who purifies it and that one is the Keeper Keeper of time Keeper of deadlines the Reaper of yours and mine The Reaper, Father Time Oh, Love, Love, Don't be ashamed of your heart just let yourself grieve let yourself breathe reincarnate and release don't fear the alchemical fire it is your rite of passage don't fear the path they walk it is their rite of passage so grieve, my love, grieve, because grief, is love, grief, so grieve, my love, grieve, because grief, is love, grief let love rule all your days may all that is true remain let all falsehoods burn away may only what is real remain LOVE
Just my humble opinion, I believe U are supposed to put this to music, a slow beautiful melody- so that it can help many more~ no explanation b4 or after just the song to soothe the broken heart.💜💜👑👑☯️☯️
This is synchronicity and serendipity again…yesterday, Jai Dev, in his teaching, was saying that although at both ends of the scale, grief is love. You grieve because you love.
I wrote about it some time ago, Grief is love with no place to go.
Your poem resonates with me and with what I wrote…we are so connected.
Thank you for sharing this 💙🙏💫