Walking Each Other Home

A Poem for Those on the Hero's Journey (YOU):

MK Ultra overdose  
with a diagnose of  Stockholm syndrome  
Deception is not a novelty 
but never did i know 
it could intoxicate me 
like a bad acid trip mixed with GHB  

it's been almost a year since I made my escape and I'm.. 
still coming down from the effects.   

Every morning i wake up a veteran of etheric wars, 
but my deployment never ends, 
as long as my body needs rest.  

i don't remember the nightmares anymore 
i just feel the sludge of subconscious molasses and 
rage I cant explain 
each time I awake  

But, I regret nothing.  

I needed that MK Ultra, Stockholm Syndrome, 
knife party kaleidoscope, 
as a cataclysm to change.   

I needed this,  
and every other trip to hell beforehand 
to break the paralysis 
of my 
self imposed prison, 
where i was CO, inmate and warden.  

i thought i kept myself safe, 
in welding myself beneath the armor of, 
"never will I let you see my heart or face"  

because when you stand as you are 
and resemble nothing of the status quo, 
every breath you take is blasphemy to the conveyor belt cult,  
funny how the arrows of "stay in your place" 
come not from strangers, but 
ones you thought would've loved you most.  

but the time came where I had to drop my guard to survive.  
I went to remove my chest plate, 
and realized it was rusted in place  

So being broken, 
over and over, 
was a blessing only disguised as a curse.  

It wasn't so I would break down, 
it was so I could be 
Broken Open.   

And Now,  
Now, i live for my Soul.  
Now, I live for the assignment the Great Indescribable Force designed me in this incarnation for.  

AND WE ALL HAVE ONE.  

I’ve seen my comrades die around me 
been to the cosmic waiting room myself, 
the space between spaces, 
i have tried to self-terminate and escape, 
numb, steal, kill, destroy, 
like a nightmare slideshow 
and to that i said, 
no more.   

Also I say, 
let me take off this mask we call "survival mode" and speak:  
We Do Recover 
from heroin, fentanyl, alcohol, PTSD, 
the lifestyles that wind up in life or death sentences, 
abusive relationships,  
yes, 
We Do Recover.   

And it is not meant to be forgotten, but Remembered.  

150 million degrees of heat and 725,000 lbs of pressure, 
it is this and nothing less 
that a diamond requests 
in order to be formed.  

the antidote to things like suicidality and addiction is 
Connection 
to ourselves, each other, to the Greater Spirit, 
ALL is the encompassed  

Truth, Wisdom, Love, 
are not so esoteric. 
It is just something we forget, 
on amnesia planet.  

We already are what we are looking for 
it's just a game of shedding layers 
until we are left with The Real. 

The part of You and I that doesn't die.  

I'm just a fellow traveler. 
At the end of the day, 
we are all just, 
walking each other home.  

❤️  -Tesstamona, written in July of 2024. 

Performed tonight, February 1st, 2025. 
Podcast about tonight coming soon. 
XO