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I did a training once, taught by Jim Mitchell. He talked about three lakes within. The first is a lake of anger. You have to swim in it sometimes, just don't linger or make it a habit. The second is shame. Do not ever dive in. Ever. Dip a toe in if you have to be reminded. Shame is a cesspool and if you dive in you might never climb out. The third lake is joy. Dive as deep as you like, as often as you can. Linger.

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hooooly shit i just saw this comment -- ive never heard that about the three lakes. thank you. i really needed to see that tonight pertaining especially so about the lake of shame. im gonna go ahead and let that marinate overnight THANK YOU

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Some pieces have particular resonance. In the Christian numerology the number 33 has association with Jesus Christ because it is widely believed by Christians that he was crucified, died, was buried, raised himself from the dead by the power of God, and ascended into heaven during his 33rd year of life. In anatomy the number 33 is the number of vertebrae in the human skeleton. In the pursuit of the Christ seed oil the number 33 is associated with the lunar cycle that begins the descent of the oil and is fulfilled when it has risen back up.

The number 13 is associated with wrongdoing by the freemasons and the Gnostic heretics because the Templars were arrested on "Friday" the 13th of "October" in 1307. So we hear about their tradition that "Friday the 13th" is an ill omened day.

In Christian numerology the number 3 is "the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit," and the one who sits at the right hand of Jesus Christ in heaven is Mother Mary. So we associate Mary with the number 4. In traditional numerology or "gematria" the number 13 is a representation of the number 4 because it is the tradition to add together the two digits if they are not identical, so 1+3=4. Also 13 is associated with the 12 apostles plus Mother Mary who were present at the time of the events of the Passion. It's important to note that because he betrayed Jesus and chose to end his own life, the Iscariot was replaced among the apostles to deliberately keep their number at 12. Yet, because the Iscariot was not a sincere apostle as evidenced by his betrayal, the number 11 is also associated with the apostles, being their number present at the resurrection.

I mention these ideas in connexion with the associations you mentioned in your essay. But you requested the stories from my restoring recollection, of which there are many. Perhaps I shall begin with one.

Between age 7 and age 14 I had a particular dream five or six or seven times a night. I should probably mention that 7 is associated with rest, completion, and creative fulfillment. It is also the sum of the Trinity and the Mother (3+4). Fourteen is a representation of 5 (5=1+4) and is the next step after the Trinity plus the Mother. (These 5 are also God, the Word of God, the Power of God, the Love of God, and the Wisdom of God.) I attach significance to the dream from its repetitive context.

Sometimes it was the first dream that night and I would transition to another dream. Sometimes it was the last dream before awakening. I had it about a thousand times more or less.

In the dream I am in a beautiful place. I am standing on a balcony on the top floor of a palace. It has an architecture appropriate to the way people are in that place. There are no railings or walls around the balcony. I am standing next to another person of my same age. When I was 7 she appeared to be 7. When I was 14, she appeared to be 14. The two of us join hands and step off. We fly. People in that place fly. We don't have wings or a machine. We don't flap our arms. We simply fly, even and level, out over the garden.

Below us are flower beds and statues and fountains and hedge mazes. Then we pass over some trees of an orchard. Then fields of crops. Then pastures with herds of animals. Then wilderness. There is a long time over wilderness.

Finally we approach our destination. We fly over the house where I lived from age 3 to 18 and which my parents owned until 2014. We land on the front lawn and immediately walk across the street. The house was on a dead end street facing a vacant wooded lot and a bird sanctuary which was bottom land the developers couldn't build on and which flooded often. On the wooded lot side of the street is a low stone and mortar wall.

She would sit on the wall. I would stand in front of her facing the woods. She would sit facing me and my family home behind me. The season was always close to the season at the time of the dream but it was never raining or snowing and the ground was always clear and dry except if there were Autumn leaves on the ground.

She would look me in the eye and say the words, "You were sent ahead. I will be joining you later." As we got to be 13 and 14 there would be children at her feet and the words became, "...we will be joining you later."

Always there was a feeling of peace and comfort. After she said the words, I would transition to another dream or wake up or I would stay there and we would talk, but none of our conversations are with me today. And I always knew that the dream was for me, so it was many years before I ever spoke about the dream or began to sense that she has come into this world.

After she and I meet in person, everything changes. That day approaches as God wills. Praise God. Amen.

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Holy shit. First I was going to reply regarding the numerology bc that’s a whole paragraph in itself but that dream you shared, well I should call it “dream” bc those sort of things aren’t what we call your average dreams. That is beautiful and thank you. I’m going to sit with that and get back to you when I’m not on my phone and can type easier / respond more adequately. Btw, have you noticed anything re: the number 7 lately? Or anything tied to the dream? We have somewhat different understandings or learnings re: numerology - and I’m certainly no expert- the person I have been learning from over the years uses ancient Qabbalistic numerology and the number 7 has been extremely significant for the entire planet this last year but that number has been popping up a lot lately - especially when tied to the mention of any goddess, priestess, divine feminine energy, and a host of other things. Not surprised that you had those dreams 7x per night.

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Seven times a week for seven years starting at age seven. Kind of hits me over the head, doesn't it? We are in a year that resolves to 7. We add the digits unless they are identical: 2+0+2+3 = 7

I was told in 2020 that I was sent here into this life by Mother Mary.

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okay yeah we are of similar alignment because YES we are in the 7 year. holy SHIT have the teachings been intense. I don't know how old you are right now or what your "earth age vibration" currently is.. I know we're headed into an 8 year (2024) and i'll be going in as a 7 (age 34, 3+4 = 7) so ive been paying attention to where 7 is showing up, especially after falling into a lot of the pitfalls of the 7 year. Have you written a lot about numerology? I need to check into that bc that might be an interesting thing to collaborate on given shared 7 experiences and also entering an 8 year (im sure you already know its significance and association with Christ among other things) in only a few weeks 👀

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I would be happy to work with you on a collaborative essay. You can reach me at jim@eldarcapital.com

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This is beautiful as always. You have such a unique way of uniting people with your simultaneously compassionate and tough wisdom from real experience and connection. I always enjoy reading it and have received some golden nuggets for sure. Speaking of tough, with what you said about listening; message received. I should have listened better on your‘maybe’ post before I offered up what I did, albeit with care. I hope you enjoy some peace away from Substack in whatever you do. Thanks for the tunes. Farewell is Never Forever is DOPE. As far as remembering, oh yes. 2023 was all about that for me. Honestly I wrote a post about it last night, “Should have Never Left Me Alone.” Mythical and true all at once. We should all look at our lives as myth, choose your own adventure as you say (loved those books). I’m not trying to get anyone here to subscribe I promise. Read it or don’t, subscribe or don’t just too much to put here. Tesstamona is that lake near your home? If so, I suggest meditation there, if you haven’t already. I live next to a big pond and in warmer months every morning first thing before my run, I walk barefoot to it and meditate. It’s my own personal Walden Pond. Take care.

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Thank you for this and I’m going to check out the article you wrote as well. And thank you for checking out the song “Farewell is never forever” - was nice to share it as I’ve so often forgotten about it! And to answer your question about the water -- yes. I no longer live with the last place I was talking about, but to my surprise, the new place I moved to is on the edge of a nature preserve, and there is a small lake, or rather super ultra giant pond right behind the house so once again, there is a physical representation of the lake within at this new location. It’s a trip. a very good place to meditate indeed. I hope you have an amazing day. 🙏❤️🙏

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Great job on your song recorded in a closet! It was really good. I am enjoying your jazzy background stuff that you recommended now while I do some work this morning. Thank you. You have a lot of wisdom to share. Happy Saturday :)

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Thank you so much for listening and I’m so glad you’re enjoying the jazz vibes!!! Much love to ya!

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Dec 25, 2023Liked by Tesstamona

The Lie We Live, "I've cashed in all my chips". The whole song works really well, many lines prompted a pause for thought.

Every time I read another of your posts I appreciate it more, perhaps understand more.

The comments are a wonderful read.

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Thank you, and thank you for supporting this publication, I am really grateful for it and your commentary. I'm glad you checked out that song too -- sometimes I forget the lyrics I write (that song was written two years ago) so when you brought that lyric up in particular -- i had to pause for a second too. Just to reflect on the madness/reality of that, and how much that can change/morph over time. What a strange predicament that quite possibly all, if not most, of us go through. 🙏

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Magnificent.

And 'Farewell Is Never Forever'... whew.

Love it...

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Thank you!!! I hope you had a beautiful holiday

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Reading your comment brought real tears to my eyes. Not only can I relate to what you’re saying but it’s so encouraging to hear that you’re doing the real magical thing that I know I’m certainly working toward accomplishing-- setting yourself free, especially the parts that have been kept hidden for so long ❤️‍🩹😭🙏 “let it flow naturally through you, for that which is forced, there will be no miracles” I love this so much. Reading feedback like this is literally why I put this stuff out there - to reach others who can relate and use it to their own good. Thank you for this. And re: quan yin and 33, i did not know that about her until recently. Re: the number 13, I did find out about that a few years ago. Many cultures have different meanings but they still have a common thread - very interesting

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