YAY!!! So happy for you Tesstamona. It’s great that you have the courage to share your story. Thank you for doing so and here’s to the next fifteen years. 🙏💖
The Battle is hard. You are winning, your heart is not hard. Broken yes. But, as I learned from GOD, our hearts are hard, the strongest hearts must be broken in order for the love to escape and live. ONLY broken hearts can love completely.
The loss you speak of I do relate.
I wrote a few songs about that battle.
Wicked ambition, it is not the flame that burns, jersey girl, and broken.
GOD is the glue that keeps those broken pieces working. God's love is what gives it strength, sharing that love is the meaning.
I thought I replied to this. I saw this comment in a crucial moment. I then recorded a podcast (into my phone, off the cuff type thing) and I read from this comment. It’s a bit of an emotional podcast at times, but you helped me get through, at least partially sift through, some very heavy grief around Dylans passing. As did @Jacqueline Rendell on her post. They both came through within like ten minutes of the other. Thank you both. I’ll release the audio sometime tomorrow.
...congrats Tesstamona!...listening to ur interview with Hrjovic, almost done... i replied earlier to ur reply on Notes, i hope it posted and u saw it, I don't see my Notes uness someone replies, something in settings i guess, so here quickly is a video on Heber or whatever AI that u alluded to un certainly, this may represent what u meant?!... and here's a series of lectures that i have in book for, i always felt they are important....back to the video,agree with everything u said...https://youtu.be/doBm2mM634Q?si=UeKWVwym9Hy7cO5l... https://rsarchive.org/Lectures/GA200/English/RSP1988/19201017p01.html... Hrvoje I meant!...lol!...
Hey! I did see it and I thought I replied, that's weird if you didn't see it? There's been several issues with substack on my end and a few others recently of things not showing up, but thank you so much for your feedback and for these links as well, and its a pleasure to make your virtual acquaintance. I'll check these videos out today. I hope you have a beautiful sunday 🙏
...thanks Tesstamona, appreciated, u too...mine had been a reply to ur 'Notes' reply, strange?... for various reasons i make copies of some comments, and i did of that reply!... so i'll post it here again, catch up later, u too, stay cool, as u do! ... 🙏➕🙏...
It requires so much control and dedication along with the pain and mind bending that by the time you reach the other side you've quite literally rebuilt yourself from the ground up.
All that struggle and emotional overload makes you into a giant, a veteran of life. I suppose it's a case of can you handle this new form of you, many can't and they relapse, you've bolted on the new powers this whole experience has given you and put them to use.
Tentatively and cautiously you've moved forward and achieved the kind of things that qualify you as 'Living'.
I know you still have to work hard for yourself and there's still obstructions but from where I'm standing you shine as an example of success and it's a huge benefit and privilege to learn from you.
This comment brings tears to my eyes and I don’t think saying “thank you” is enough but I will still say thank you. Your perspective is incredibly helpful. Often I do not see what you see, I only see what is still left to be done, what is still left to heal, what is still left to do better. I do not see the progress but rather what still requires it. Perhaps I should take a few days to slow down and try to balance my perspective on things. Thank you so much dude. I hope one day I get to meet you in real life!
You are the brightest star I know! Thank you for the lighting the way for others to follow, it can get pretty dark out there as we know. Your story is so deeply touching and inspiring. You are so courageous for sharing. I honor you. 🐛🦋
Congratulations Tess, what a gift to have had that contact. While reading it I was so touched and realized I wasn't feeling it the way I'm gifted. Until the last few paragraphs, then here it came. And while writing this the goosebumps are vicious. The connection with the source validates so clearly. He hasn't spoke to me but he's visited and validated your message of recovery you shared. I so love to be along in this journey and share openly about the source with you and others, it has opened so many connections. I love you! 💕
Love this! You are not just a survivor but a thriver. Sounds trite but when you live it, it isn’t. It is totally a choice. I am not a recovered adult but a breast cancer survivor and feel this way. Everyday you get/have to choose how you want to live.
The veil is thinner than people realize. Those on the other side who pass sooner than they planned, learn from those of us still here. They also need to move forward and not spend all their energy hanging out with us. After my dad died, he started sending me so many feathers! Boxes full! So many and so specific that it was clear it wasn’t a coincidence. Finally, I saved the best in one box. I only get a feather every now and then. Months can go by without seeing one. Then, there one is - like Saturday evening at a meeting, all of a sudden seeing one stuck on the arm my sweater. “Angels are here,” I said to the group with a smile as I picked it out carefully.
Being a hero to yourself and those who are connected to you by heart strings of love is an honor and duty. You are doing it. It is so wonderful to be invited into your journey. I used to represent parents whose kids were removed by CPS. Most were drug addicted. For those who took my advice, got into treatment and recovered, got their kids back - there are not enough words to express my admiration and respect. I moved out of the PNW to the Southern Midwest this past year. I think of my moms all the time and hope for their continued success. Reading your Substack makes me hope the same, sustained success for them. So proud of you!
...this is the Notes reply to ur reply Tesstamona... '...ur welcome Tesstamona, thanks for ur kind reply!…agreed it’s a distressing time…ur sense of human love and all that in a sense ‘attaches’ to it is profound…when caught up in it’s apparently pristine experience there’s a nucleus through which and around which basis of, we are seemingly unaware of…perhaps wilfully even, in my experience, u may find my use of the word and concept ‘attaches’ feels ‘an overreach’, however what i mean, is that love is such a centering force, it’s powerful dynamic affects so it’s like one’s centre of gravity has shifted…and more vitally encompasses the ‘spiritual heart’, u don’t any longer inhabit quite the same ‘space’, ur being has been intercepted through the benign effects of a higher influence…at the time of such loss as u’ve felt, it seems to me, the ‘pain’ is felt unbearable, and intolerable…ur endless tears are and are indicative of, and representative of this shift, u feel ur left suddenly alone, course u are, it’s the immediate and natural reaction; the loss and the ‘raising’, are a double aspect in that they are like both ends of a ‘cracker’…once pulled apart, there is an explosion, and it’s consequent shock the contents appear fragmented, there is a sense of catastrophe, but, hey!…there’s our gift, as difficult as it is to accept, it's in the fragments perhaps…painful and all as they are, they must somehow await their joyful reassembling, as their ‘energy’, apart from their individual pieces cannot be destroyed…that’s possibly the scary part…here are links to two volumes, the second of which does not quite correspond, being a slightly different edition to the physical one own…https://archive.org/download/harmonicsofevolu1897hunt/harmonicsofevolu1897hunt.pdf …https://archive.org/download/greatknownwhatna00rich/greatknownwhatna00rich.pdf ...There’s an edited copy of the first, however i didn’t seem to find, just now? that is concise and direct... There’s a section in ‘The Great Known’ that corresponds to what my mother, her most lucid ever, told me of her experience the night and several hours before her passing rip in 1998…it was some time, a year perhaps later that i tracked down a copy...’they’ tried to destroy ‘TK’ and his reputation...it’s term is nothing more than a play on ‘tack’, it’s first and last letter of the word, from the playful use of ‘The Order of Tacks’...about twenty three years ago i had corresponded with someone whose father had met Richardson...apparently, he is what it says it does ‘on the tin’, for what it’s worth, and irrespective of begrudgers...' ...
And make sure you laugh a lot, and play a lot, and be free.
Open the cage, so the heart can have its way."
I have been thinking a lot lately about time. Clearing out a storage full of things once valuable but now baggage. Memorabilia from trips and concerts and pro sports games, many that I don't remember. Family photos and poems, but even these can be hard to place. Connect this with the lack of any variable for time in quantum physics and it strikes me that although my son, dead nearly 45 years now, and I are having a different experience of time... Love is eternal and always. OK, true love is eternal and always. There is that.
You’ve done it, Sis…15 years! Soooo proud of you! Sending much love and blessings 💙🙏💫🤗🥰
Thank you Joyce, love you ❤️🙏
Love you, too 💙🙏💫🥰🤗
YAY!!! So happy for you Tesstamona. It’s great that you have the courage to share your story. Thank you for doing so and here’s to the next fifteen years. 🙏💖
Thank you friend, and thank you for helping create an environment where it is truly mutually beneficial to share stories like this.
You’re welcome Tesstamona. 💕
You are a woman of tremendous fortitude.
Go, Tesstamona, Go!!! 😁
Congratulations!! 15 years is quite an accomplishment!!
Thank you Karen and much love to you!
The Battle is hard. You are winning, your heart is not hard. Broken yes. But, as I learned from GOD, our hearts are hard, the strongest hearts must be broken in order for the love to escape and live. ONLY broken hearts can love completely.
The loss you speak of I do relate.
I wrote a few songs about that battle.
Wicked ambition, it is not the flame that burns, jersey girl, and broken.
GOD is the glue that keeps those broken pieces working. God's love is what gives it strength, sharing that love is the meaning.
You are loved, and that love, is the meaning.
Thank you for never surrendering.
I thought I replied to this. I saw this comment in a crucial moment. I then recorded a podcast (into my phone, off the cuff type thing) and I read from this comment. It’s a bit of an emotional podcast at times, but you helped me get through, at least partially sift through, some very heavy grief around Dylans passing. As did @Jacqueline Rendell on her post. They both came through within like ten minutes of the other. Thank you both. I’ll release the audio sometime tomorrow.
Thank you, and I look forward to it.
...congrats Tesstamona!...listening to ur interview with Hrjovic, almost done... i replied earlier to ur reply on Notes, i hope it posted and u saw it, I don't see my Notes uness someone replies, something in settings i guess, so here quickly is a video on Heber or whatever AI that u alluded to un certainly, this may represent what u meant?!... and here's a series of lectures that i have in book for, i always felt they are important....back to the video,agree with everything u said...https://youtu.be/doBm2mM634Q?si=UeKWVwym9Hy7cO5l... https://rsarchive.org/Lectures/GA200/English/RSP1988/19201017p01.html... Hrvoje I meant!...lol!...
OMG the Rudolf Steiner archives!!! YES!!!!
...nothing like a bit of 'light' reading, eh? ...Tesstamona!...i love ur enthusiasm!...
Hey! I did see it and I thought I replied, that's weird if you didn't see it? There's been several issues with substack on my end and a few others recently of things not showing up, but thank you so much for your feedback and for these links as well, and its a pleasure to make your virtual acquaintance. I'll check these videos out today. I hope you have a beautiful sunday 🙏
...thanks Tesstamona, appreciated, u too...mine had been a reply to ur 'Notes' reply, strange?... for various reasons i make copies of some comments, and i did of that reply!... so i'll post it here again, catch up later, u too, stay cool, as u do! ... 🙏➕🙏...
Holy smokes, you got persistence! Congratulations on your anniversary
Thank you!
It requires so much control and dedication along with the pain and mind bending that by the time you reach the other side you've quite literally rebuilt yourself from the ground up.
All that struggle and emotional overload makes you into a giant, a veteran of life. I suppose it's a case of can you handle this new form of you, many can't and they relapse, you've bolted on the new powers this whole experience has given you and put them to use.
Tentatively and cautiously you've moved forward and achieved the kind of things that qualify you as 'Living'.
I know you still have to work hard for yourself and there's still obstructions but from where I'm standing you shine as an example of success and it's a huge benefit and privilege to learn from you.
Super well done Tesstamona.
This comment brings tears to my eyes and I don’t think saying “thank you” is enough but I will still say thank you. Your perspective is incredibly helpful. Often I do not see what you see, I only see what is still left to be done, what is still left to heal, what is still left to do better. I do not see the progress but rather what still requires it. Perhaps I should take a few days to slow down and try to balance my perspective on things. Thank you so much dude. I hope one day I get to meet you in real life!
I think it's beneficial if we 'check in on ourselves' occasionally, get a visual on the place we're at compared to where we've come from.
I agree with you 1000000%. Helps us remember who tf we are too, which is essential in times like these.
Congratulations. That is a great achievement. That picture at the end, so many young white women in recovery, is at once deeply sad and heartening.
You are so courageous for sharing your story! 15 years is a long time. So happy for you, Tess! Love you, friend and get many more
You are the brightest star I know! Thank you for the lighting the way for others to follow, it can get pretty dark out there as we know. Your story is so deeply touching and inspiring. You are so courageous for sharing. I honor you. 🐛🦋
Congratulations Tess, what a gift to have had that contact. While reading it I was so touched and realized I wasn't feeling it the way I'm gifted. Until the last few paragraphs, then here it came. And while writing this the goosebumps are vicious. The connection with the source validates so clearly. He hasn't spoke to me but he's visited and validated your message of recovery you shared. I so love to be along in this journey and share openly about the source with you and others, it has opened so many connections. I love you! 💕
Love this! You are not just a survivor but a thriver. Sounds trite but when you live it, it isn’t. It is totally a choice. I am not a recovered adult but a breast cancer survivor and feel this way. Everyday you get/have to choose how you want to live.
The veil is thinner than people realize. Those on the other side who pass sooner than they planned, learn from those of us still here. They also need to move forward and not spend all their energy hanging out with us. After my dad died, he started sending me so many feathers! Boxes full! So many and so specific that it was clear it wasn’t a coincidence. Finally, I saved the best in one box. I only get a feather every now and then. Months can go by without seeing one. Then, there one is - like Saturday evening at a meeting, all of a sudden seeing one stuck on the arm my sweater. “Angels are here,” I said to the group with a smile as I picked it out carefully.
Being a hero to yourself and those who are connected to you by heart strings of love is an honor and duty. You are doing it. It is so wonderful to be invited into your journey. I used to represent parents whose kids were removed by CPS. Most were drug addicted. For those who took my advice, got into treatment and recovered, got their kids back - there are not enough words to express my admiration and respect. I moved out of the PNW to the Southern Midwest this past year. I think of my moms all the time and hope for their continued success. Reading your Substack makes me hope the same, sustained success for them. So proud of you!
...this is the Notes reply to ur reply Tesstamona... '...ur welcome Tesstamona, thanks for ur kind reply!…agreed it’s a distressing time…ur sense of human love and all that in a sense ‘attaches’ to it is profound…when caught up in it’s apparently pristine experience there’s a nucleus through which and around which basis of, we are seemingly unaware of…perhaps wilfully even, in my experience, u may find my use of the word and concept ‘attaches’ feels ‘an overreach’, however what i mean, is that love is such a centering force, it’s powerful dynamic affects so it’s like one’s centre of gravity has shifted…and more vitally encompasses the ‘spiritual heart’, u don’t any longer inhabit quite the same ‘space’, ur being has been intercepted through the benign effects of a higher influence…at the time of such loss as u’ve felt, it seems to me, the ‘pain’ is felt unbearable, and intolerable…ur endless tears are and are indicative of, and representative of this shift, u feel ur left suddenly alone, course u are, it’s the immediate and natural reaction; the loss and the ‘raising’, are a double aspect in that they are like both ends of a ‘cracker’…once pulled apart, there is an explosion, and it’s consequent shock the contents appear fragmented, there is a sense of catastrophe, but, hey!…there’s our gift, as difficult as it is to accept, it's in the fragments perhaps…painful and all as they are, they must somehow await their joyful reassembling, as their ‘energy’, apart from their individual pieces cannot be destroyed…that’s possibly the scary part…here are links to two volumes, the second of which does not quite correspond, being a slightly different edition to the physical one own…https://archive.org/download/harmonicsofevolu1897hunt/harmonicsofevolu1897hunt.pdf …https://archive.org/download/greatknownwhatna00rich/greatknownwhatna00rich.pdf ...There’s an edited copy of the first, however i didn’t seem to find, just now? that is concise and direct... There’s a section in ‘The Great Known’ that corresponds to what my mother, her most lucid ever, told me of her experience the night and several hours before her passing rip in 1998…it was some time, a year perhaps later that i tracked down a copy...’they’ tried to destroy ‘TK’ and his reputation...it’s term is nothing more than a play on ‘tack’, it’s first and last letter of the word, from the playful use of ‘The Order of Tacks’...about twenty three years ago i had corresponded with someone whose father had met Richardson...apparently, he is what it says it does ‘on the tin’, for what it’s worth, and irrespective of begrudgers...' ...
"Memento Mori, because all of time is a gift.
What will you do
With the time
You have
Left?
Love. Live. Grieve. Revere. Create.
Revolt Against Tyranny. Be a Soldier of Love.
And make sure you laugh a lot, and play a lot, and be free.
Open the cage, so the heart can have its way."
I have been thinking a lot lately about time. Clearing out a storage full of things once valuable but now baggage. Memorabilia from trips and concerts and pro sports games, many that I don't remember. Family photos and poems, but even these can be hard to place. Connect this with the lack of any variable for time in quantum physics and it strikes me that although my son, dead nearly 45 years now, and I are having a different experience of time... Love is eternal and always. OK, true love is eternal and always. There is that.