The Medicine Is In The Shadow

And now some of it is here for you. Enjoy.

If you’ve read prior posts you know what this is about. This is the song I made in a frenzy when I was considering un-aliving myself about a year ago. Creating this song (which was done freestyle in a motel room with no beat, originally) saved my life. The reason? I finally admitted to MYSELF and OUT LOUD the truth of how I felt in that state. That was all that was required to shift the energy. Now it’s here.

You can listen to “everyones favorite” (aka everyones favorite piece of trash) on any platform at this link right here.

The official music video (which was shot on a go pro in my apartment with myself and another person lol) is coming out soon, I still need to finish editing the video. I’m no video professional, but it’s fun to learn.

Anywho, figured I’d let you know. This was where I was last year. It has been one hell of a ride, climbing out that hole. For those who know:

We know what it is like to truly feel worthless. To truly feel like everyones favorite piece of trash, with how cyclical and repetitive it can feel to be thrown out and disposed of just as quick as you were once loved or part of someones life. The medicine?

This may not be the most orthodox thing to say, but that’s never really been my concern anyway. I found my self worth by feeling worthless. I found my strength by being abused. That is a fact. We may know what it is like to feel like trash, but because of that, we learn our real value, because something higher in us… call it the higher self maybe.. knew our value all along, and eventually it got tired of us having this type of agony in our lives. Enough is enough. We see our value now, and THAT is why we choose to live, no matter the circumstances.

That is what keeps me going when I don’t want to. The thing in me that has refused to “end it all” so many times has gotten its reps in apparently, because it makes itself known. This is the result of chronic suffering… newfound worth, purpose, strength and resolve. I wouldn’t SUGGEST someone go that route if they are struggling, but if you’re already dealing with it, congratulations, that result is inevitable if you keep going… even if it feels like it takes FOREVER and there’s no end in sight.

Memento Mori - there is always an ending ;-)