A Message For People At Rock Bottom

Including all who have survived and have their own testimonies to share...

Hey all, been a minute.

Let’s get right into it.

It was almost a year ago when I stared at a loaded pistol and considered ending my life in a motel room in East Tennessee. The details of the situation do not matter much, but the medicine that was found in that darkness does.

It continues to pay dividends, if you will, to this day. The alchemy of transforming trauma, the medicine of rock bottom, call it what you may, but something in me made me put the gun down and lunge at the mic stand I had set up in the corner of the room from the night before. The result?

The result was the off-the-cuff completely spontaneous (freestyle) song that I have kept hidden until now. It’s releasing to all platforms a week from today (June 16th). When I made the song, it created enough of a shift in that hellish energy for me to keep going at least one more day. It did not result in an instant transformation. To be honest, I’m starting to see the more awe-inspiring results a year later than I did when I chose self expression over suicide.

It’s hard to see clearly in those moments, and the deeper shifts we undergo are ones that take time, typically.

The reason it created a shift is because it was one of the ONLY times in my life where I allowed myself to be vulnerable and honest with myself. The shit we keep buried so deep within that it makes us cringe to even have a thought that might go slightly NEAR it… that is what I had to say out loud and in full. Then I had to embody it. That is what began processing it out of me. Again, this did not happen immediately. This has been an ongoing process ever since, and not many people at all know about it to be honest.

To speed things up because I know everyone’s time is valuable (btw does anyone else notice that time itself seems to have sped tf up lately?) So this is a 4 minute video that breaks down the transformation of trauma, the message I felt I had to give to rock bottom survivors, what happened that night (briefly) and how this whole shit works. More continued below.

For anyone who would like to pre-save this song, you can do so at this link here.

And a little extra bonus, because i’ve had some weird revelations come up lately, this is a clip on the lessons I have learned from anger, and the process of coming out of survival mode and allowing love and other people into your life, after being guarded as fuck for sooooo many years. I hope it is helpful.

A longer form podcast on the topic of transforming trauma will come after the song is released, but for now, this:

(If you would like to share your story and hop on a podcast about this, or even submit something and have me read it, please let me know! You can comment on this article as a free subscriber, or you can email me, or contact me any other way here!)